So finally , here I am , squeezing enough time for a movie review. Why ? Well I saw lots of movies after GANGSTER and I intend to review them as well. But I need to write this one first before I move on to the next. So here it goes.
I watched this movie in Chennai Satyam Multiplex. We badly wanted to escape from the heat at 1 pm. By the time we reached the ticket counter we had just 2 options - "BASIC INSTINCT 2 " and "GANGSTER". One of our friends did not want to watch SHARON STONE as the 1:15 pm show was already running for 5 mins - he just cant miss a single action scene I suppose :)
So we were left with no choice but GANGSTER. By the time we entered the HALL , the movie is already being played !!!! Somebody in SATYAM should be hanged - its a criminal offence to start a MOVIE AHEAD OF TIME and NOW I NEED WAIT FOR SONY/ZEE to pick this movie in 6 months !!
So frame 1 :
Kangana Ranaut (KR) is an young lady with a little more than a penchant for drinking. She drinks and drinks and drinks and drinks and keeps falling and falling and falling and falling ...So you guessed it . She is beautiful young woman interested in drinking and falling. Of course the side effects are that she likes to show a lot of flesh while she drinks and falls. Inbetween drinking and falling and showing flesh - she attracts attention of none other than our own "SERIAL KISSER"
EMRAAN HASHMI (EH)- taaliyaan !!!
EH is a singer in a BAR (of course!) where he comes in contact ( please - no sex or kissing yet ) with KR. EH knows from the bottom of his heart (or whatever) that KR is hiding something in her mind(or heart or whatever). He pleads her repeatedly to reveal the secret - of course KR is in no state to tell him anything. I guess EH just doesnt understand - HOW CAN A DRUNKARD reveal any secret when she is little close to losing conscious - i bet she cant even tell what she is wearing and what she is not . DUMB GUY !!
One fine day KR & EH are in a boat and she is drunk so much that she throws up the bottle in the water and the next frame shows she is drowning. Perfect scenario for EH to dive for his love and save her. He does. When KR regains her consciousness , she looks at him and EH asks again to tell him the secret. At this point , i think EH is getting desperate to know the secret. Again DUMB - if she tells him the secret - how will it be a secret ? EH then asks KR to visit his bar on XX day of the month if she intends to see him again !!
Our lady KR now has started thinking. but she needs inputs and glass of wine is empty. No option but to visit the bar. EH singing " Tu hi meri Shab hain Subah hain - tu hain din hain mera " . I must tell you that its a lovely song sung by KK and composed by Pritam. KR then gets nostalgic and remembers all the falls that she had when she was drunk ( drunkards have an elephant memory i must say !! ) and every fall she had - EH was there to lend her more than a helping hand. She is getting emotional....Enters a GUY in a SUIT with his wife. KR sees him and panics..what to do? where to go ? ..She gets up..Song has ended. EH is speechless..just walks across to her and she insists on leaving. Cmon..the girl is leaving - EH is still dumb - he asks "WHY?" She cant answer.Meanwhile the bar owner calls up EH to introduce him teh GUY IN THE SUIT. EH walks away and turns back - aho...KR HAS VANISHED.
KR comes to home and the phone rings. She lifts the phone and the voice " WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT ?" . KR cries & retorts " WHAT IS THERE TO COME BACK FOR ? WHERE ARE YOU ?" . I must say KR Is intelligent - for questions you dont have answers for , the best escape route is to ask more questions and confuse the questioner - questioner gets confused and thinks he is morally bound to answer the question - he becomes a answerer - he has lost his status as a questioner!!! truly mindblowing scene i must say.
KR drinks more wine and rum and what not..till one day she finds that all her STOCKS of ALCOHILIC DRINKS are over !!! what will she do ? What will she do ? Where will she go ? Aah..So many questions. Our lady now goes out of her home in a single pience of WOOLEN CLOTHING - straight into the GARBAGE BIN outside her home and starts searching for her drinks..since when did DRUNKARDS start thinking ? or was it the lack of drinks that make DRUNKARDS THINK ? Very profound questions indeed !!
KR successfully makes it to the BIN- Yipeeee - phase 1 successfully completed. She finds a bottle of wine- Yipeee- phase 2 successfully completed. She finds the wine good to drink. Yipee - phase 3 successfully completed. She finds the wine too little. Phase 4 - failed.
KR decides to implement the phase 4 in EH's place. In the same piece of woollen clothing she walks to EH's place and asks "Daaru milega kya ?" - believe me - thats the best line she had in the movie. EH decides to act the humble host and gives her a lot more to drink. I suspect his actions over here -for a guy who was so eager to get her talk - why is he giving her more to drink. Or does he want her to get drunk so that he gets another oppurtunity to lift her ? Or is there something running on his mind. I am getting suspicious now..hmm...
They both go to the roof and lie on a bed. Aah haa..no sex or kissing yet..its just talking ..with a glass of wine of course. KR then starts talking- surprise surprise - EH is listening - SURPRISE SURPRISE !!!
Apparently KR is
wife of a GANGSTER. Pa pam paaaaa....oho ..thats how the title came- but it shud have been
"WIFE OF A GANGSTER" or "GANGSTER's WIFE" etc etc. So enters our HERO aka
GANGSTER aka SHINY AHUJA(SA).SA , a chota goonda is escaping from police. He decides to enter a galli. The galli magically leads him to an alley. Alley is filled with houses. And He decides to enter a house - SURPRISE SURPRISE - it is the home of our chamak challo KR - wow - thats amazing isnt it ?
SA looks at KR. KR is working on a broken pipe - she is awesome - she is a plumber as well. And she is wet all over. SA looks at KR. KR looks at SA. They keep looking at each other. The police knocks on teh door - KNOCK KNOCK. KR looks at SA. SA gives blind stare.. KR looks at the door. SA hides behind a door. Police questions KR and KR lies to them that she didnt see anyone. Wow - she does have the skill of talking to Police as well. How much better can she get ?Police goes away.
SA gets ready to leave. KR asks him " Paagal ho kya - abi jaaoge to pakde jaaoge" - wah- kya reasoning capabilities. I sometimes think we should hire her - she makes a better manager than our org has :)
SA obeys - i think we should recruit him as our analyst - jo bi bolenge kar dega- nahin kiya to atleast goli to maarega kisi ko. Think about it !!
SA stays in teh night - NO - no sex or kiss yet please. Leaves in the morning and KR misses him a lot already. Exactly a month later SA returns back to the gali only to find the door locked. Enquires with the neighbours and lands up in a BAR ..Ab suno..KR is actually a BAR DANCER..wah wah wah..she is dancing and SA just stares at her. KR notices SA but continues dancing.
Analyze for sometime now. Career pathing of KR is awesome. For sometime she was dancing for drunkards and then after a while she has become a drunkard and expects EH to dance/sing for her. Bandi is amazing - she just knows where to get to in life. From a service provider to service consumer :D - too much isnt it ?
One day in the bar..a customer behaves badly with KR - who comes to her rescue - SA. Sahin jawaab - aap ko milega "KUCH NAHIN " se ek anoka tohfa. SA bashes up the baddy and takes KR's hand. He says his first words to her " GHAR CHALO" - wah wah - kya dialogue maara bande ne. Awesome - first words and it had to be "GHAR CHALO" - hotel chalo , movie chalo , bar chalo , restaurant chalo , coffee day chalo , etc etc could have been OPTIONS for him. But he chucks all and says "GHAR CHALO" - how romantic !!!
KR now gets a home.She had been praying to GOD for a home and husband. HUSBAND to ek hi mila - lekin she gets a new home everyday- they are running away from POLICE again. SA also makes enemies with his mentor as he cant leave KR. So far they havent had sex or a kiss atleast. She cooks - he eats and bashes up people. In between they also find some time to adopt a kid and name him BITTU.
SA has now decided that he will take KR out of India - obviously to escape from police. DONT EVEN THINK about honeymoon - they arent married yet and forget about Sex & Kissing please. Their's is pure love :)
Just when SA thought everything was fine - the police surround him and his family near the airport. Shootout happens - dichkyaaaon dichkyaaaaaon ...its raining and they immediately getting into a CIELO. SA takes the wheels. KR ducks behind carrying BITTU..just when they thought they had escaped they discover BITTU is shot..and is dead...
KR and SA are now living seperately in 2 different countries. With no one to share her feelings , she takes to drinking..boohoo..
After this sob story "sunaaoing" the bottle of wine is empty. KR decides to sleep in EH's place. NO SEX/KISSING yet. EH is getting desperate but has put in a very RESTRAINED PERFORMANCE over here. The next morning EH escorts her back home. He gets in and sees the photograph of SA. EH then decides to leave ..tuk tuk tuk..ten steps later he returns back to see KR waiting for him. And then "Lamha Lamha ...." - this is thesong where they get to kiss and have sex...atlast EH is back to his normal state . I just cant bear him when he cant kiss..
One of these nights when they have had sex , EH gets up , dresses and leaves. KR wakes up and finds his watch. So she goes out and calls himup. EH collects his watch and purse , smiles and leaves. KR is smiling until something hits her hard...somebody is watching her..she gets nervouse..she is frightened..she turns back to see SA staring at her.....
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Welcome back from the loo break you badly wanted to take. This is an amazing story that you should enjoy. I am so glad you had your loo break :)
So SA gets back to the street and finds EH going in front of him. Bashes him up. KR finally catches up with SA but not before his bashing. She begs SA to release EH. EH is speechless - he really should have realized that going after a GANSTER's WIFE had a lot of risk and he simply didnt have it in him to take those risks- he after is just 5 ft 6 inches tall and he cant get taller in life.
SA & KR return back home. SA shouts at her and she shouts right back. After a while i catch their conversation. SA starts crying and pleads for another chance - the hall erupts in laughter. SA cries more - the hall is now virtually quaking with laughter.; SA stops crying - hall return backs to normal.
SA pleads for anothe chance - our lady has still not spoken - quite rightly after the shouting i guess she went dumb. SA then takes her to a distant island where he rents a house - a small wooden house with a large bathroom and a big hall and a bedroom. No SEX or KISSING YET PLEASE.
SA starts working - yes - he is now a labourer - very hardworking. Puts ice on fish or the other way around- i dont remember and begs money. Earns a few dollars - comes back home everyday and gives KR the money. our lady meanwhile has returned back ...u guessed it right..COOKING...he works - she cooks. I am telling you our lady is very well talented. She just can move in between roles - we must recruit her. "Naa jaane koi kaise hain yeh zindagaaani..hamaari adoor kahaaani...." plays in the background and is a lovely song-Sung by a bangladeshi singer , its a lovely tune with lilting music.
Of course lady has acquired lots of skills- husband working - drunkard wife - yet she has lots of money to buy new set of clothes - i dont have to say revealing - do i ?. Logical questions you may say - but never ask them in an illogical movie...
SA meanwhile has decided - again , this guy makes a lot of decisions - to move to India. "Apna gaaon jaana chaahta hoon- aur pata hain - mera gaaaon KASHMIR main hain - jahaan meri maa burf nikaaalne ka kaam karti hain "- banda wahin karna chaahta hain - He has decided to change gears in his career - awesome thinking - how many of us know that we do indeed have GEARS in our career- SA knows he has. This is called "ATTITUDE".
SA leaves to SEOUL to get fake passports. KR meanwhile is pregnant - of course - she has had sex with just one person - EH . So she calls up EH and tells him. EH is elated and decides to meet her. They meet and EH advises KR to make SA surrender to police as that is the only way she can ensure he lives.
SA meanwhile in Seoul has got the passports and is returning back - only to find his mentor blocking his way..SA tells him to go away as he has left his mentor's business. Mentor disagrees - classic conflict between a manager and analyst- Analyst has decided to move and Manager refuses to release him. manager refuses to listen - if he listens , it will affect his credibility as a manager. Aaah - so many thoughts in the air. Mentor then unleashes a gun - stolen from "unheard/unseen of stunts" by SA and SA ends up shooting everyone. The only saving grace is the number played in teh background : " Ya Ali...Reham Ali...Ya Ali..yaar pe qurbaan hain sabhi.." Its more like a disco number when you listen but adapted badly in the movie.
SA is badly wounded and calls up KR . Asks her to meet him at 10 pm at XY place. SA promptly turns up. SA is not in sight till 12 midnight - just when she decides to leave - SA arrives. He just manages to reach her and rests his head on her lap. Thousands of police cars then swoop in. Policemen are aiming their guns at SA. SA looks at policemen and then KR. KR looks at SA and then policemen. Policemen then drag SA. SA starts crying. Hall starts shaking.....
Take a step back and analyze - I do not think SA's manager did a skill-set evaluation before setting him up for the role of GANGSTER. How can he cry - if he does not know what to do - he starts crying. The bottom line is if the manager decides to screw you , he will.
KR tries calling EH. EH is unreachable. KR being an intelligent woman tries his bar. Bar owner asks her to check with Indian Embassy. KR lands up at Indian Embassy - no security guard - she enters in. She finds a biiiigggggg hall..She enters in - there are lots of people..there is a video being played...and then she sees herself ..her video of her story telling ...the story she told only to one person - EH. and then she continues seeing.
She sees EH - smartly dressed and addressing a gathering..EH IS A SECRET AGENT. EH has secretly recorded all the story telling of KR and using it as evidence against SA. KR cant take it anymore. She screams - amazing lady - when she does not know what to do - she shouts ..actually she screams..after a while i get the conversation between EH and KR..EH's best line in the movie "Kabhie Kabhie gandagi saaf karne ke liye gandagi main haat daalna bhi padta hain"... Awesome agent - he sacrificed his sperm for saving the nation from INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZED CRIME - how better can he get ? EH can save nation from donating his sperm - unthinkable - unbelievable - but the story demanded that !!!!!
KR cannot believe this is happening to her - she was obviously on a fast track career path -what she did not realize that she didnt have brakes - or somebody else was controlling her brakes .
KR decides to KILL EH. Meanwhile SA has confessed to all his crimes and has been sentenced to death - never before i have heard courts acting so fasttt..incredibly fast i must say.
KR gets a letter from SA who still advises her to go to KASHMIR..he is now charting a role for KR - stupid guy - he himself could not carve a role for him - what will he do for KR now- this is a classic case of analyst trying to think like a manager. Never attempt that ..think for the role you are in ..not for the role you want to be in..its as simple as that...dont you think so ?
KR manages to get a gun from SA's former accomplice. Goes to EH's house and shoots him- 3 bullets right in heart , head and you-do-not-know-where. EH manages to recover incredibly and shoots right back at KR and her accomplice. Accomplice gets killed. KR is badly wounded.
Last frame : KR is in hospital. EH is declared dead. KR waits for a while and then escapes to the roof and remembers teh entire story till morning. Morning - she goes to teh end of the roof and falls.....as she is about to hit the ground...she is magically transported to a world where there is a lot of greenery and you guessed it right..right in teh middle SA and BITTU are standing welcoming her to their arms :)
And they lived happily ever after.........
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Moral of the story : None - enjoy the movie if you can :)
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Of course - this review is in progress - the write up i mean. If i can talk about it for an hour - think what will happen in the write-up.
So coming soon to a screen near you - GANGSTER - i became a great story teller the day i saw the movie :)
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